How is it still morning if it’s after noon?

$18,000 a year is cheap.

Great point. Didn’t take into account wholesale cost of televisions. Do they charge extra to go up flights of stairs for delivery and installations? Say you live on the second floor of a three-story walkup, many appliance places charge a fee to do stairs. OH! And removal of old TVs. There’s a fee for that, I’m sure.

They would have to sell 300 of those TVs to break even on the ad at $600k. More math!

When the @Deadspin account was reinstated.

This has Streisand Effect written all over it. I have no doubt that Peeple would just have been background noise in the wilderness of apps if not for all the appropriately negative attention it’s getting. It would have eventually died a quiet death, but now...

I don’t have a tattoo because the one time I walked in to get one in Columbia, Mo., the artist said I was too drunk to consent and never had the urge again... To get a tattoo. I still get drunk all the time, though.

“Promised?” You were promised a dream job? You were promised a job?

I’m fine with Bullock’s boyfriend’s antics. This bullshit about, “I was going to go back and pick it up” is a fucktarded excuse and a lie. You don’t own a dog, especially in a multi-unit housing complex as is the case here, and let them out without taking a bag with you. I confronted a dude last winter who let his dog…

I don’t have recurring dreams as much as a recurring setting. It’s a house I’ve never been to. Sometimes I own it, sometimes I’m visiting family, sometimes it’s an aquaintance’s. It’s L-shaped in a lovely neighborhood, but even that changes sometimes. Sometimes it’s in the Midwest, sometimes it’s seaside. There are…

non-king-size pillows.

Allow me to introduce an alternate narrative: David Robertson is a pussy for not throwing with Scioscia in the way.

And this marks the last time you’ll see any report about Illini football generated outside the state of Illinois.

Me too. 5:30 wake up for a 6 a.m. bus to take me and about nine other white kids located throughout north county St. Louis to a magnet program near downtown for a start time of 8 a.m. Probably could’ve got there faster on a regular bus.

We’re to take that the take on the takes is less stupid than the original takes?

This fucking sentence right here: “Middlemo held fast, and Alleby’s short landed in a creek short of the green.”

This all started with Nicki beefing about getting a VMA nod, which is akin to Nic Cage complaining about NOT getting a Razzie. Plus, the video sucked. Stupid concept, poorly shot, hideously edited, not original. The lesson here is this: Try harder.

The phuq is with her makeup?