You do realise Torchinsky will try and steal these ideas…

If you’re not bothered about the side-effects, or having to go to Jersey for the procedure!

You think the Slapheads of the Apocalypse have time for tears?

You need help! Or a job as a staff writer…

With those hood rockets, I thought she should be on the Chevy stand, not DeSoto!

I see you’re trying to select second. Would you like some help?

I used to live near Jason’s, when Ken Doherty learnt to play, and if he was back in Dublin he’d usually play some games against the regulars when he’d finished practicing. Often he’d play like that, only giving himself a couple of seconds after the white stopped to line up the next shot. Or try for a 132 (15 pinks) or…

So we know you’re not Earl Strickland in disguise!

No, it’s a reason to spend the only 5 days of summer England sees parked on a grass bank with a shitload of beer!

I don’t see any mention of venue; I assume it’s in Shelbyville…

We’ve been here before! First Order more than Empire…

Kudos to you!

No, this is all to get the magma for his “volcano” feature!

So we’re all just pawns on his giant Scalextric set? Just wait until you find he’s put in a lane change track…

I was expecting to see something a little closer to home, or do you recuse yourself from ruling on your colleagues?

Damn it; beaten by the time it takes to check no-one else had posted a “jumping the shark” gag!

You need to settle this like real men…

I was expecting Ali G…

So they’re all standing around waiting for…

Ja Rule has finally commented on his nightmare Fyre Festival, insisting that this was “NOT A SCAM” and “NOT MY FAULT” and that his priority is getting people off the island.