> Stay far away if you value your time.

You do realize Brienne is the sole rightful heir to the Iron Throne, right?

The Dodgers must’ve heard the same rumor I heard: Win the division or Roberts gets the boot.

Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field.

What in the world is wrong with you people?

Get an Apple Watch. It’ll discreetly let you know when you have a call/text.

Large Hardon Collider, you say?

I live in the San Jose area where people wouldn’t know good food if you poured a steaming gravy boat of it into their lap. Yelp is useless.

Don’t forget the obligatory “and I ALWAYS tip at least 20%”.

Countdown to Ecstasy is not only Steely Dan’s best album, it’s one of the finest records by anyone.

If Apple jacks up prices and their fans still buy their stuff, the next week Samsung jacks up their prices too. Pretty soon even the most ardent Android fanboi is paying $1000 for a phone.

Owning the shorts once again, eh Elon?

I went from a 2014 Prius Plug-In to a brand-new Tesla Model 3 and my premium went up $10/month. This was Costco/Ameriprise.

Who leaves their 3d printer turned on when it’s not in use? Mine has a friggin’ switch. It’s meant to be TURNED OFF when it’s idle.

Chik-fil-A at least has a purpose. When I’m horribly constipated and there’s no Panda Express nearby, a small order of their Greased Mini Nuggets will do the trick.

Not only are you fat, but you are also wrong.

This:

Shake Shack fries are on par with Ore-Ida in your grocer’s freezer.

Five Guys and In-N-Out shouldn’t even be mentioned together. At one place it’s $10 for a meal and the other it’s $5.

there were more than 2 million cases of the three most commonly reported STDs