“Mr. President, this is an impeachment inquiry.”

I will never think of file transfer protocol the same ever again.

Does the “I’m from the streets” thing even still mean anything in MMA? I remember hearing about “New Street Fighting Guy!” every so often only to have them fizzle out when they face decent competition?

“wait! We are both gay?”

Player’s unions don’t care about rookies.

meanwhile the Orlando Magic are circumventing the salary cap and screwing their first-round pick to deafening silence from the league

This is the right answer. Especially in this case, where the couple is likely established and doesn’t actually need anything on the registry, they’re just getting fancy shit to tart up the residence they’ve already shared for years. 

I’m going to strongly disagree with Drew on the wedding gift. If you’re in the wedding and you have to travel, then your presence (and the grand you sunk into everything) is your gift to the couple. Anyone who expects a gift after asking you to spend that much money to be a member of their wedding is an asshole and…

Wallmart does feng shui?

That’s generous. I assume he would have just been killed by the first police to show up on the scene. Which, well, he was anyway.

Also, in that HHCD pick six clip, the announcer keeps saying “here in D.C.” Someone should tell the dude that he was in fucking Maryland.

I am genuinely afraid for Haskins. The comparable situation is the Dolphins, but Fitzpatrick has been around long enough to know he’s in an impossible situation and can manage it, and Rosen is smart enough (and undoubtedly jaded enough after his experience with the Cardinals last year) to have some self-preservation…

Calm down, I am sure Haskins will be out there and break his leg soon enough.

Oddly enough, Case moved the ball well on the two touchdown scoring drives. I found myself wondering where these guys had been all night as they ripped through Chicago’s defense. At times, they looked good but that was few and far between. The defense is an obvious problem for them, especially when they’re getting lit…

Yeah you know the old saying ‘Smoke weed and an off duty cop will bust into your house and shoot you dead!’

The terrible slide doesn’t help but damn, it’s arguably a better throw than Ichiro’s iconic gunning down of Terrence Long:

She’ll do time.. 6-12 months (total) in a minimum security prison.. I don’t mean what she will get sentenced, I mean what she will serve..

Blaming the deceased for his death! Of course none of this is Annie OaKKKley’s fault.

Not only a red door mat, but her next thought must’ve been, as she opened the door “someone broke in and switched out my couch and kitchen table and pictures and paintings...” and then she came upon the dangerous black man trying to redecorate. Shooting the perp in defense of her khaki decor was really the only…

3 titles, 2 all-NBA teams, Gold medal, lock-down D, longevity. Everyone loves him (except some Memphis jabroni). There’s a chance.