They should also take away your achievements and give them to a player with a white character who didn’t earn them.

No, he didn’t just play himself - he KID N’ PLAYED HIMSELF.

This is truly awe inspiring. I can’t stop laughing at this intense, soul crushing ownage

If you drowned off the coast of Delaware, would there be better tax advantages for your body being discovered on the shore or floating in international waters?

Maybe, but they’ll be paying full price for tickets.

1). Heart attack during threesome.

I’d be proud as hell of my kid for this.

Would’ve been funnier if the conversation with the pearl-clutching beat “reporter” didn’t go like this:

They. Are. Children. What the fuck are they supposed to do, have empty bellies and possibly get bad grades because their minds are on that instead of their schoolwork? And who the fuck says that getting free meals via the government for the rest of their lives will be their takeaway? Awfully presumptuous.

Look, this really isn’t that hard. There aren’t that many major markets in the US. If some asshole threatens to leave one if he doesn’t get his way, then just waive him goodbye.

Here’s what that work chat convo looked like when the game ended.

This point is 20 years old by now, but, boxing, horse-racing, and baseball have all held and lost the pinnacle of the American sports landscape. It can happen. Over a long enough timeframe, it will happen to football, even if it isn’t laid low by its immediate issues.

.....damn, Cher. I thought you were...wait for it....Pro BONO

Three things strike me about this:

Damn straight! No one, no one paid any attention to what happened to her until the video came out.

AND they didn’t start investigating until last week, when the public outcry began.

What about the lady who shits in the dressing rooms at the Walmart?