.....girl, all love and props, but if I put my luxurious white-boy locks in dreads (which I never would....I love braids myself)....it would be AWESOME

....again, Helen Hunt

......Randi, when did Katy Perry get so FAT??? Caught her duet with Dolly last night (we won’t even mention the fact that you couldn’t hear Katy), but, I was like, “Orlando Bloom is banging that????” WTF......Randi, HELP!!!!

......sorry, but “the Lannister” cannot possibly compete with “the Bernie”.....as handjobs go.......

.....currently, he’s in the Jack Nicholson morph-phase....

.....y’all need to get back to work shredding Emma Watson.....I’m sorry but one day of vilification is NOT enough! Emma still lives.....#whereIStheoutrage..........

.....so......Irish dick or Scottish dick......Which is bigger????

....same......but once those ultra-macho sects become enclosed, they always reach for the dick....

......may I suggest Belgium instead.....

.....raises a beer to Scottish dick! (now if only they’d get circumcised).....

.....I can’t understand why you’re single, though......(scratches head, looks out window).....

.....read the Quixote.......the first book ever written......said everything that’s been said since....

....I have seen the future and it is fisting by skype....

.....I can never find it in me to laugh at these people because they are very probably thoroughly decent people who just didn’t get hit with the interesting stick......

....at least one of them could have brought you apple-flavored edible panties....

....I’d love it if they brought you an old Report Card, and asked you where, exactly, their life took a wrong turn.....

.....Freud has a lot to say about that bike.....

....so, what I’m getting is that you want a selfie of him fisting while watching the Golden Girls??.....

.....believe him that you are mostly what he wants.....even if he’s still going to need some dick on the side...........this happens WAY MORE than women are prepared to believe......

......I’m so thrilled people like you exist........I have incredibly good hair.....but that’s pretty much it.......which is why I’m always here hanging out with you losers......