I want to win the Power Ball and retire at age 33. Are you telling me that’s not a plan, Lauren?

You and my wife have something in common...

As a jaded insurance Defense attorney, this is basically the scenario I imagine all claims arise from. I know that’s not true, but guys like this make it hard not to think that way...

Since the run of six consecutive EC Finals that ended in 2008, I’d say this team has been in purgatory. Never bad enough for a high pick (though they’ve passed on Donovan Mitchell and Devin Booker fairly recently), and never being good enough to be anything other than first round fodder or narrowly missing the…

At this time, I would like to direct you to the word “satire” in the nearest dictionary. You seem smart, unlike Karl the “total f’ing idiot.”

Welcome back, Drew! I was not smart enough/don’t follow current events enough to understand most of the Feinbag. Idiots like me applaud your return.

I know A LITTLE bit about golf (however, I am also dumb). I can’t see what advantage is to be gained, unless the caddie is going to verbally tell the player he’s not addressing the ball/lined up correctly which probably isn’t allowed, anyway. 

I’m pretty sure Trump picked these restaurants because these are the only ones he’s ever eaten at (wonder why KFC is missing though)...

Joke’s on you - I don’t have any children. 

Seeing Donald dominate yesterday was another sad reminder at how inept this organization is. When the Lions knew Suh was likely on his way out the door, they could have picked him as a replacement. They did not.

I get why the “brands” love him. Why he has such a large social media following is baffling to me. And that large social media following is part of his success.

His success defies logic. I don’t think I could be as much of a stiff as he is, even if I tried.

If he were younger I would say yes. If I’m Rodgers, I wouldn’t think a mini-tank would be enough to get McCarthy canned, anyways, given this team’s recent history of underwhelming finishes...

“Nothing...clean,” one of the cops mutters, to which the other replies, “Fuck.”

This! Every dude I know has this same issue - including myself. Though I SWEAR sometimes my wife just says she told me I agreed to whatever thing it is that I totally forgot that I agreed to...

I hate this fuckin team...

Here’s some Detroit Lions information: They suck heavy balls!

Ahhhh. I imagine this owner/manager/whatever claims to be a “small government” conservative, too. Ms. White was clearly not causing any problems, but this nosy ass woman couldn’t fucking help herself...

If this kid had any sense, he’d drop out of law school yesterday. 

It’s a good thing the NFL still has a few days to realize this.