I'm not even approved to comment on Jezebel and yet this asshole was able to make his way into a fucking operating room? The world is a sick and twisted place.

That may now be very unlikely, with doctors saying he's likely to permanently lose all sight due to the gasoline.

There were five minutes when I had a crush on him.

Dakota Fanning has been acting circles around people since she was a very little girl...

I am crying at my desk.

I've been wanting to try making it at home ever since hearing that kiwis are the best marinade for tenderizing it...

You did not just shade Miss Cynthia Bailey, did you?

A+ to the team behind this cover.

Sarah Silverman is hilarious. This isn't ~IRL~ though so you can safely assume I'm a lying robot.

ya that's my title

It is not gravy it is "brown sauce". (lol Quebec)

Does this Annie got We Got Annie? Ann Reinking forever. Seriously, why can't my body do this?

You know that Ripley would just be at home, stroking her cat, not giving a fuck.

Chutney Forever

MY DAD SAID YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE

Can I just say thank you for essentially saying "fuck you" to all the people who didn't appreciate you? You're a goddess.

I'm obsessed with Amy Poehler's Smart Girls Facebook Group. I live in constant fear that I will be removed from the group because I'm a male.

In the words of that amazing subway lady that was having none of that sex offender's nonsense:

Ok, so yes. I am also in this club. I have liked Chris Pratt for years but became really obsessed with him after he and Anna Faris, the most likeable person I like, appeared on Top Chef.

I genuinely just came back to this post to find your comment and say that it impressed me. Let's be friends.