I will be forever grateful to be from outdoorsy New England, where no one gives a shit about your fingers other than to recommend Bag Balm in winter. The expectation of fancy fingernails is as bizarre to me as the Southern obsession with not leaving the house without makeup on.

Burn the witch! How dare she! Horrors!

Who left now?

So wait, was her puffiness before all coke-bloat, and now this is her 12-step face? QUESTIONS. Then we'll get to Boko Haram or whatever.

And yet here I am finding them to be the only couple I've ever wished divorce upon. :/

A DNA test wouldn't clear it up as easily as you'd think. A typical consumer-grade DNA test almost invariably shows Native American ancestry as Asian (think: land-bridge). Since he has known Asian ancestry, that would really cloud any potential NA genes. He'd likely need to take his raw data and send it to a…

The next time you find yourself wondering why some women say they're sports fans yet don't talk about sports much, please remember the effort and emotion you put into this thread and see if maybe that gives you an idea of why we don't always engage with men on this subject.

There are several reasons why this argument makes no sense, but I'd have to say the biggest is that that show hasn't been relevant for years.

Ugh, sorry about that. I'm finishing up month 4 of 6 and can say the boredom does get a touch more tolerable with time, though that's not much consolation. Take advantage of this time to learn more storylines!

As a female athlete with a stats minor, I will assume the probability you are dumb, full of shit, or both is at or just below 1.

Get well soon! Me and the ol' ovaries are only watching a game tonight because we can't play one, for the same reason.

Procrastinating? On the INTERNET? For shame.

I know. Believe me, the chemtrails branch of my family is all about this. (And Fukushima fallout on produce and perfume allergies and casein-induced autism and wheat bellies and microwaves causing lupus and...) Imagine how I feel when SoulCycle women at Whole Foods try to bond with me because I have refractory…

Nope.

In fairness, California has consistently been more precious about this stuff than Boston or New York, in my experience. If you walk into a good Italian restaurant or seafood joint in most Northeastern cities and ask for ethically-slaughtered meat and nothing fried or salted, you're going to get a "fuck you" AND a…

Ugh, don't be that person. I hear you, but ugh.

I've had celiac disease since childhood and I was never afraid of having a kitchen deliberately fuck-up my order until the is-your-water-gluten-free people emerged. I never eat out anymore because the rise of gluten-free menus means I can't be taken seriously. Thanks, snowflakes!

Just watched this between S5 episodes of "Breaking Bad."

Getting it put on personalized Etsy stationery right now.

As someone with both celiac disease and a peanut allergy, I can at least be thankful the universe isn't allergic to fucking me up the ass? (This pleases me in no way.)