If steroids are what it took to kill that mustache dead, then it was all worth it.

So, how long until the Patriots pick him up?

There is a bright side, I guess 

Demariyus Thomas too

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

And now a deal with the Patriots. 

Yes, it was.

He can’t play this weekend, even if he signs in time.  (I assume that’s what you were implying?)

Can we just skip to the part where the Patriots sign Brown to a crazy cheap, 1-year contract and he behaves perfectly all season?

“Every story deserves a happy ending.”

The Raiders got Cold Feet fast

Watching $30 million go down the toilet will get a tearful apology out of a guy

So the minimum wage staffer misheard or misspelled his name on a coffee cup and he cries discrimination even after they try to apologize? I have a name that can sound like other words and can’t keep track of the number of times I’ve seen bizarre spellings or other names/words used by mistake.

This. I mean, even Arnold does not look like Arnold anymore- he looks great, but not like his old days at all!

You’re not going to get bulky by accident.

It's NBA. You can score in your own basket

Saying stupid shit got the current President elected, so I’m going to go with attribute.

Become a Democratic candidate for the 2020 election. 

Me: [Clicking through pictures of ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend on Facebook]

“Of course he didn’t know that would happen. We’re shocked that people think Bill Belichick could somehow see into the future.”