I’m sure he’s be risin’ up, back on the streets in no time.

If you kick a guy in the balls who is already jumping on a play that has nothing really to do with basketball, you should be suspended. I don’t care if it was an accident. Guys get suspended for dangerous hard fouls on defense all the time. The fact that Green was on offense does not mean he is free to just be a…

Uranus Court has jurisdiction over this matter.

Courts are where law abiding citizens go when they cannot otherwise settle disputes. All claims before the court should be taken seriously.

Please get back to me with your investigation into Jose Conseco having that ball hit off his head. Accident, or fixed?

You should have just let it ride. Would have been good Kinja.

Oh, you got me good!

*black men

It's a fabrication about majors. It was a pun, dummy.

Generally: Republicans. Specifically: Donald Trump.

If you hang out all the time, the perfunctory “bringing something” isn't necessary. So long as it generally evens out.

Some low hanging apples, there.

How dare he slap home plate!

“No one who has seen him play in the last 10 years as looked at him and thought anything other than the feeling they had when they watched him get punched right in the goddamn face.”

Your friend group, I presume:

I’m starring this one and only this one.

He’s not a crotchety old dumb ass. Give this guy a (participation) medal!

That just means they can’t have sex with each other.

Heeeeeyoooooohhhh!

Set the date on your phone to 1969. Then it'll work.