I understand that Erikson placed third in the most recent Larry Fine lookalike contest.

Damn, that’s a hard 29.

Of course a woman half my age finds me attractive and wants to sleep with me! 

“The Republican platform supports criminalizing abortion”

“Why had none of the many dermatologists I’d visited ever bothered to tell me eczema herpeticum was a thing?”

All of them lifelong members of the May I Speak to Your Manager Tabernacle Choir.

I would need to violate the Planck length in order to create a violin small enough to play for these biological RealDolls.

Great pic. All the blond look alikes in the front row, women who were all likely wife #1s to rich assholes.

I dont disagree with really anything here. I do have to say tho, harassing someone for how they voted is wrong and short sighted.

Good to see Mimi from the Drew Carey Show, though.

I read it as “Putin is a dictator, and so am I, I mean, but I’m not actually a dictator, but I feel like one.”

I would have thought repudiating Article 5 of the NATO charter - the mutual defence assurance - to Fucker Carlson would have been worth a mention, particularly since only one country has even called for Article 5 to be used. Any guesses which one?

Probably just the ghost of an unvaccinated child.

Goddamn your daughters room is bigger than any place I’ve ever lived.

Space Seed 

Those assholes in that top pic with their little vests and guns...you just know if they were confronted with a truly dangerous situation they’d shit their tactical pants and runaway screaming like little bitches. (no offense intended to little bitches)

They claim it’s to the Constitution, but like nearly all “constitutional conservatives” have very little idea about how the Constitution actually works, and mostly seem to believe it begins and ends with the 2nd Amendment.

“Fearing Democrats would find a way around this Catch 22 of consequences and come out on top, [Paul] Ryan has scrapped it.”

Not just carbs, lectins! Which are the new boogeyman du jour, never mind that they’re in most plant foods, that plant based diets have been shown time and again to be the healthiest options, and that beans are one of the healthiest foods you can eat.

Maybe tell your friend that humans have “only” been watching documentaries for 96 years and that’s why most human brains cannot process documentaries in a critical and intelligent manner?