I’m with you 100%, but I just went down a rabbit hole to even find out what happened in this event, learned more about the Derby and horse racing than I ever felt a need to before, and I still can’t figure out, under any interpretation of the phrase, what the FUCK any of it could possibly have to do with “political…

Maybe, but "The Cat From Outer Space" still holds up pretty well.

Agreed, but it has to be on Trump's birthday.

I was going to say some shit like “Oh, he hates touching men, that must be why his connect percentage is garbage when he finally manages to let his hands go sometime after the 6th round” but then I was like, eh, I just don’t want to spend the mental energy on Adrien Broner.

“Listen, I think everyone should read Mein Kampf just to clarify what positions that Hitler had that ran contrary to the Trump administration.”

Of course “semiliterate primitive monkey” could also describe the current president he just loves so much...

I don’t understand what the two axes of the toast chart represent. To me, G4 seems to be essentially the same as H2. I’m somewhere in that vicinity, but it’s not real clear to me that there is an actual matrix represented.

I bet Hannity likes to be choked during sex.

He actually didn’t even say he had a black friend, he said his nieces and nephews are “of color”. In other words, he’s not even claiming his own black friend, but saying he couldn’t be racist because of his relative’s association with people of color. I don’t know what the bar is for Republicans is to consider someone…

Ooooh, that will really show us ! If his citizenship is revoked and he’s booted to, let’s say North Korea, me and all my commie liberal friends will be soooooooo mad, and utterly humiliated!! I hope it doesn’t happen !

See, I had long practiced the “one minute in microwave” protocol, but my mother recently either read or heard somewhere that it is ineffective and bad, and has become absolutely evangelical on that point, and admit I had succumbed to the pressure to give up microwaving sponges, I personally never saw how the sponge…

Dear Diary,

Americans, especially in the lowest income brackets, want to work hard, and earn every single penny with sweating brow and aching bones. That’s why almost no one plays the lottery ...

I wish I had something to add to and expand on this comment, but you've really said it all.

The thing about the “adults in the room”;

You shut your mouth, Friday was a benevolent and wise monarch !

My theory is, the Hoyt patriarch found out that his son-in-law had an affair with Lucy and was the biological father of Julie, so arranged to have his son-in-law die in an car accident that unintentionally caught up his daughter and granddaughter, and eventually had Julie abducted either as a consolation daughter, or…

I’m sure Trump thought it said “golf stimulator” wherein he could practice his short game while getting blown by a porn star

This reeks. Why call the cops on a guy in a car? How could they see a gun in his lap if he’s slumped over? They couldn’t talk to him, but he did wake up when they boxed him in? I bet there wasn’t a gun.

Now that is some good kinja !