The purpose of the article is to express the opinion that this dude may well have no pages.

Saw this when I was getting a coffee this morning and was like, “Okay, Chip’s dead.”

they weren’t gifted those interceptions and passer rating - their defense forced them. the injury-filled steelers had just beat the arizona cardinals the previous week with landry jones playing most of the game after taking over for mike vick.

Well, maybe not quaking, but the Chiefs beat both the Patriots and the Seahawks last year. You know, the Super Bowl teams.

My God, the Panthers lost to the fucking Falcons! That means the Panthers are dead in the playoffs for sure.

“Tweets can be old.”

Please don't ruin carrot cake for me.

We also should just rule every pass a catch because what WR would intend to drop the ball? Amirite?

If by literally zero you mean 13, then sure...

“They want the ball and they’re gonna score!”

Would you prefer “Deadspin is MSNBC, and the Cardinals are George W. Bush”?

Full disclosure: The Cardinals suck.

the first half of that quote is an backhanded way of saying “this guy can’t handle being the man” and you’re a goofball if you don’t see it.

Your analogy would work better if weren’t for, well, white supremacist Cardinals fans.

I grew up somewhere too, guys.

You fools. It was a macaque.

On a lighter note, I don’t put macaque in the microwave, ever.

0/10 would not bang.

He looks like he smells like cigarettes and old spice.

And he calls himself

What an object of heated romantic interest in the real world.