Simmons, Olbermann, Cowherd - ESPN Departes

Meanwhile, the Kings are so bad that even Rudy can fail.

Out of contention? They have the best record in baseball in the past month, and are finally living up to the hype going into the season. Injured players are finally back and playing well, and the sox have a big series this weekend against the division leading Royals. Last year at this time the Royals were 50-50, yet…

That headline + strategically placed mid-sentence break is some dirty clickbait. I totally expected Vince Carter’s ballsack had driven a guy to suicide.

The lowest point of his life was in January 2008.

So moral of the story is don’t get drafted by the Knicks?

“Hey, collusions are part of the game. That’s why we wear helmets.”
- Emmitt Smith

Or as ESPN puts it on their front page: “Source: Union to cry collusion if WRs don’t sign”.

Yeah, in no way are they in bed with the NFL. Nope.

Oompa, Loompa, Loompity-Doo... I've got a fucked up haircut for you

It takes a lot to make John Kruk look healthy, stylish, and well dressed, but it looks like Boomer managed to pull it off.

That. Forehead. Could. Go. All. The. Way.

Snooki looks like a cross between an Oompa Loompa and Snooki.

He looks like the off spring of Ben Franklin and a cocker spaniel.

“That’ll fix everything!”

They also considered instituting a ban on hitting women, but they didn't want to go overboard.

In his defense, would YOU want to pay attention to a Padres game?

I hate to break it to you, but if you grew up in a house with 18 rooms, you were pretty rich.

“I grew up in a wealthy suburb of Washington, D.C., in a house with 18 rooms, a big backyard and half a block from one of the best public high schools in the country. We weren’t rich, but we were definitely comfortably middle class.”