I only understand sports personel transactions when they are explained with an analogy using Kate Upton’s body. Is the Clippers resigning Austin Rivers like Kate Upton sewing her favorite bra together to get a few more wearings out of it? How does Kate Upton's physique show the benefits of the Red Sox trading Nomar…

Yeah, is the war in winter? Because if the forecast is for snow, DC will just cancel it the night before.

How nice that they want to enjoy the cultural benefits while still rejecting the people who created the culture.

You just got me excited for Why Your Team Sucks.

That would be great.

Go back at it hard! And by it I mean watching baseball not because I enjoy it, but for the possible material rewards. I do that so hard!!!

Counterpoint: Ball is life. Therefore, he has 9,000 lives. That’s like 1,000 cats. Thus, he is the bro version of a cat lady. Where was I going with this?

I’m getting Cardinalsplained in the replies. I love it.

“Man, that tree is far away!” - Mitch Hedberg

“You have to give them credit, I was awesome as always and they somehow managed to get hits. It definitely wasn’t because I was bad and they were good.” - Cardinals any time they lose.

Best Minor League Team In Baseball

Am I supposed to read that as a sassy “No he di-uhn’t!”

My two favorite parts of this story:

That is better. But not as good as Adam Lind stroked massive dong nice and deep lololol penis.”

See, this is the explanation I need. I’ve never seen the game, just that one highlight. To be fair, the person explaining it to me isn’t a sports fan, so she doesn’t know much of the context either. And I never said it was THE one thing I didn’t understand about soccer.

Why not Suicide Kings? Or Griswolds? That’s right. Vegas Vacation is underrated. I said it.

Damn, Gina

Solid point.

Keep it down. TBFIB will hear you call them small market. HAHA ST. LOUIS IS A MAJOR METROPOLITAN AREA WITH LOTS OF CULTURE JUST LIKE CHICAGO AND NEW YORK.

One thing I don’t understand about soccer (and my latina wife doesn’t understand why I don’t understand it) is how is the Hand of God seen as a glorious moment, especially by Maradona? He didn’t score because of his superior skill. The refs blew a call and gifted him a goal. I’m a Royals fan and I don’t act like we…