Jabronis by Face sounds like a cologne.

We don’t know anything about Hillary’s religion! Almost like it has no relevance to how she woukd govern.

Not currently. But I’m from Lawrence.

Spelling error? What are you talking about?

My first thought wasthat it had to be a monument, but now I’m questioning how many tourists actually use instagram.

Promise you won't steal my identity?

Come see my band The Hemorrhaging Clicks this weekend at the Bottleneck. We’re kind punk mixed with Billy Joel.

“Dufresne party of two.” - Mitch Hedberg

To answer eceryone’s question, Yes, they're going to do this all season.

The Mexican cartel money? Is that what your guy at INTERPOL tells you?

That was clearly a compliment to the ref. “This guy right here? He gets me horny.”

I’m on your side. Put that up is a completely valid way of telling someone to put their shit wherever it goes when they aren't using it.

Don’t you mean Where did you grow away?

I just winced. +1 undescended tesitcle.

On the fly out, Manny did get a hold of it. A giant gust of wind killed it. But as a Royals fan, Ventura probably needed a good body slam.

Are we really going to do this all season?

MATT CASSEL IS NOT WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR!

The balloons coming out of Goodell’s head is my favorite part.

Counterpoint: yes it is b

“I hate the world today.” - Meredith Brooks