I’m even more strict. You get one rival. That’s it.

Why are they body shaming him?

Thanks for responding, Kobe.

Is this some veiled dig at the Sixers?

Please, talk to your Uncle Marshawn.

Don't you see? Marchman IS Hubert Humphrey!

It’s a stick shift, so...gross.

There’s a truly harmful belief that the right to say something is the same as the right to have it taken seriously.

Elvis Costello is my pick. Young enough to be shocking, which seems to be the theme. Plus he has a catalog that everyone loves up to a point, but we couldn’t tell you if he’s put out an album in the last 5 years.

How did you ever book a reading engagement at such a luxurious location, Drew?

I always feel like Papi is on the verge of saying something sexist or homophobic (out of ignorance not malice, if it’s possible to make that distinction) that will get him suspended, and then he won’t think he actually did anything wrong so he doubles down trying to explain his position and gets the axe. It’s very…

I don’t understand what the reporter was getting at? A flood of threes? Threes raining down?When it rains it pours? Success beyond the ark?

I’ll throw in an ISIS concubine.

That sentence made me gag. Because naturally I pictured someone buttering bread with vomit and poop.

I don’t read your stupid website ever! I just happen to know your email address and have an opinion on a thing you wrote. I’M ABOVE ALL OF THIS YOU KWEERZ?

He’s a regular Chet Stedman.

Kendrick Perkins can’t resist the allure of Open Table.

Maybe he’s really into whatever native american tribe/Buddhist culture that people who desperately want to be racist reference when they don’t like being called out.

I feel like the couple always has expectations beyond their budget. They say they need a new laundry room, renovated bathroom, and the basement to be finished, then the budget actually covers 2/3rds of that. But maybe that’s just Hillary being dramatic for the camera. I QUESTION EVERYTHING NOW! Same for the new house.…

JJ Watt does kegels during the moment of silence.