That’s nothing. Today I was playing MLB the Show, and I was being no-hit through six but still winning 1-0.

I like the way you think.

Can Royals fans overtake Cardinals fans as most insufferable fanbase in a furious sprint? As a Royals fan, I say Yes. Royals fans have taken the Cards’ “We play the right way cuz we’re grizzled and salt of the earth” attitude and replaced “grizzled and salt of the earth” with “aw shucks, we’re just simple…

Fuckin blackout games. Am I right?

So sad. His name could have been Sean Duke, but he was given his father’s name, because of the patriarchy.

I’m just here so I won’t get fined.

Don't these people watch Mythbusters? All the had to do is wait for the car to fill with water, then open the door.

Oh my god, stop! Are you trying to get me to stop supporting an organization that mistreats its employees who are in harm’s way as part of the job?!?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT????

As a Jayhawk fan, I have to say “Nuh uh! Ok, maybe it was borderline.”

My wife is from Mexico, where everyone has two last names, one from the father one from the mother, and we are just following their tradition. She kept her last, because I didn’t care and keeping that connection to her family is important to her. When we have kids, they will get both of our last names. I’m giddy over…

Trump’s.

You left out spanking it in a porno theater

That’s what happens to me, too. Every year on Thursday night I’m thinking, “Only a few wrong. I’m looking good. I could win this thing.” And then it blows up in my face on Friday. This year, I decided to mix things up by getting almost everything wrong. But at least I didn’t have MSU in my Final Four!

Their slimjim game is strong

Wolfsburg also has the weakest logo game in the quarterfinals.

Ugh. You just reminded me that Duke thinks it’s the Harvard of the South.

I don’t think you can hatefully slobber on someone’s nuts. At worst you could do it indifferently.

To be fair, once the suspect has been shot and killed there isn't much reason to arrest the person afterwards. That skews the numbers.

If the robber hadn’t been dressed in all white, tricking the cop into thinking it was just another fat caucasian, this would have ended differently.

I think Kentucky wins it all. But then has it vacated, so Villanova wins by default. The only way they could hope to be champs.