Too early to throw a witty Larry Nassar quip in there? Yeah, way too early...

On Fox, the shorter the skirt the better...

Pissant? What the fuck does that even mean?

Problem with that trade is that Cousins is a UFA. If he signs elsewhere, Wall is left playing with Omar Asik and Dante Cunningham

Nice humblebrag, doc...

I like the PINK on the front...

Good god, I hope that last comment wasn’t intentional...

And there was this one time at band gymnastics camp…

Johnny O’Bryant III? Is Johns Hopkins missing a middie?

Counter: Not a pizza. Definitely a delicious Italian-type dish of some sort, but not a pizza

Seems like every Deadspin story these days has a hot dog sandwich truther...

Worst. Person. Ever.

Also, thx for the Beasley shout out. More love needed for “your favorite player’s favorite player”

Didn’t he play for the Reds early in his career? I seem to remember him on those great Big Red Machine teams in the 70's...

NDick – So sorry if your pal’s party doesn’t have a fridge full of Ol’ Fuckface Oatmeal Porter or Crazy Joe’s Hopsanity Triple IPA for you. Have a cold Bud…it won’t kill ya, beer snob.

Surprised it took so long for this guy to show up:

Wahoo here...Thomas Jefferson believed that learning was a lifelong process that was never completed, so therefore a freshman was simply in the first year of a lifelong education.

Ah, a new holiday tradition...MY nuts in the Night Before Christmas Decorative Nut Bowl!

Never gets old:

Sorry. He’ll always be “Porkchops Bazingas!”