"Mom, I have to eat your face off now."

Mirror Universe God of Thunder.

THAT SWEATER IS TOTALLY BOSS. I LOVE IT LIKE I LOVE MY OWN CHILDREN.

I kind of want to take Adorable Scottish Shop Assistant by the shoulders, give him a gentle shake and say, "Have you tried shutting the door? Shut the door." Seagull? Flummoxed.

I was at the zoo once with my kids and the two hippos started what seemed like a battle to the death. I swear, it was like Hell was raining down upon us.

My breath is unbated. Thank-you.

Or the crisps...

But, but, what about the weather in Scotland? How will I know?

He should expect what happened, since the name of the animal he accosted is a RAM.

I hope that ram follows him to work.

I'd be more likely to believe his intent was to provoke the ram, film the encounter, including his ill-thought-out wrestling and attempted bulldogging of said ram, and post it because he thought he'd be victorious.

I thought it was funny until I realized dirt bike bro was deliberately provoking the ram. Getting off your bike and trying to wrestle the thing? Yeah, you better run, asshole.

I'm your Huckleberry

Speaking from experience, when I was deep in my addiction and self-care was pretty much the last thing on my list of priorities, you don't notice your own smell. If you purposely sniff your armpit or something, then you realize something's up, but generally, not so much. You notice your hair is greasy, but you put on…

Oh, Loki. If you were a real boy, I'd follow you around like a puppy.

Man, I want to have my own island.

Now this is really gross:

Kitties are highly energetic and left to their own devices in the wild (our back alleys) would romp for miles. Your Kitty Tower is an excellent idea. Burn off some of that energy. They have a lot. :)

If you use wipes, (which are lovely) Please don't flush them down the toilet. Into the trash can they go.