I wonder how long it will take this wholesome celebration to descend into batshittery?

"Look at the fireworks I got, just for you, Avril!"

Everyone I know keeps getting married a fair distance for where my family lives, so not only is there a lengthy car ride or flights involved, but accommodations and meals to cover.

Your wife is a gem.

And in my experience, people are so much happier attending a shindig like that.

Seriously. That's his take-away from the funeral of a 'dear friend'? Wow.

Canadian treasures, they are.

Nobody tops KiTH. Nobody.

Worse news, poppets: After 40, hangovers can last up to two days. None of that taking a nap day one and feeling good again. Crap City all the way into day two. It's awful. Doesn't happen to everybody, but it hit me and a few of my friends.

THAT'S TOTALLY GOING TO BE MY ROLLER DERBY NAME

Or the shame you feel when he wakes up and holds your hair back, saying nothing, while you projectile vomit your internal organs into the toilet, and then takes your kid to Tim Hortons while you curl up on the cool, dark tiles of your bathroom floor.

I'm fair certain that Big Brother contestants are genetically tampered with to be as horrible as possible.

Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself and she was in Miami. :)

Ha! I should have read the entire thread before responding up there where I said our little friend was deliberately obtuse. You clearly have the situation well in hand. You're swell :)

S/he's not missing your point. S/he's being deliberately obtuse. You get used to it. Bless you for trying, though.

My dad's was, "You're cruisin' for a bruisin'" or, "I'm gonna thump you, DEB." My childhood was a positive delight.

Oh, Lord, thank-you. That just bought me one more day on this earth. "EVERY TIME YOU SCREAM I HAVE TO START AGAIN!"

Was she good? I'm so hoping so. Watching her grow up has been such a treat (I'm an old. Her first nude scene will do me in). We only have one movie theatre in my little town, so I won't be seeing this film until it's on-demand.

That's poor even by your usual low standards.