Can’t wait for the inevitable Mark Jackson gay sex scandal. 

Andrew Yang plz. 

Everyone knows this guy shouldn’t be allowed within 1000 yards of any sports-related anything, so I’m assuming the producers were doing this purely for ratings and didn’t really give a shit if one of their female anchors ended up as collateral damage. Fuck Lavar Ball and double fuck anyone willing to put him on the…

Kawho? Kawhere? Kawhat? Kawhi? And Kawhen? These are the questions that will dominate this offseason. 

Specu-guesses is egregious. Somebody T this guy up. 

I’m no expert, but it seems to me that having a burrito-like body is actually an advantage. You can absorb body shots that would hurt a thinner boxer. 

Jesus. I mean, at least Woody Allen’s penchant for perversity was somewhat offset by his having made some of the most iconic films of the twentieth century. This dude just sounds like a porn director that accidentally stumbled into filmmaking. 

Just a head’s up: “joshi” means “women”. So it’s redundant to say “joshi women’s wrestling”.

Super villain? You mean disgruntled ex-MTA employee?

The point is not whether Nurkic is a star player. The point is that he’s making it sound like the poor Warriors are so depleted because they didn’t have two of their five hall of famers going into the series. As if that’s some huge disadvantage. Losing Nurkic was a much greater disadvantage for the Blazers. 

What’s left of the Warriors??? Did you not watch any basketball in the last three months? You know, like when our star center snapped his lower leg in half, or when our back up center played almost an entire series after dislocating his shoulder, or when our franchise player played two plus games with dislocated ribs?…

Uh, nope. Iguodala making a great defensive play does not make this team more likeable. Everything they’ve achieved so far this season is entirely predictable. Them winning both games at home without KD is not some incredible achievement. Let’s just hurry up and get this season over with so KD can go to the Eastern…

Right. Double-team Steph. For two games. Then what? Durant returns? Should we double-team them both? Simultaneously? We will run ourselves ragged. And we haven’t even talked about Boogie yet. Let’s stop pretending there is a “way” to defend the Warriors, especially when they’ve spent the entire season playing at about…

You know which teams have the most stupid-ass drama? The ones that are stacked with too many good players. There are plenty of good teams with good chemistry that are one player away from being contenders. It would be great if all these players could spend even five minutes not chasing a ring, look around, and maybe…

Yeah man, I hope you’re right. But as a lifelong Blazers fan I have to temper my expectations. The last time we were in the WC finals, we were up on the Shaq/Kobe Lakers by 15 points in the 4Q on the road and we blew it.  The Warriors are like ten times better than that Lakers team. I don’t actively pray to the injury…

“...expecting both Kevin Durant and DeMarcus Cousins to be healthy enough to play in that series.” The thought that Cousins, who is only on this team because of a retrospectively fortuitous injury, and who has basically contributed nothing in the playoffs, will likely get a ring before anyone on the Blazers is a…

I don’t expect my depleted Blazers to win more than a game against the Warriors, but the difference is that the Blazers will have the pride of having accomplished something meaningful and unexpected. No one in the preseason even picked them to be top 5 in the WC, and a few haters even suggested they’d miss the…

In this mixed-sports metaphor, Marwin was the Houston Rockets and the knee was Steph Curry. 

“...feel invisible in the shadow of a man who is showered with adoration, praise and the attention of countless women.” This “man” has put in literally countless hours (years?) of physical and mental training and endured multiple injuries to become the greatest shooter in NBA history. He single-handedly changed the…

Right, so now we watch the Warriors win again and that’s somehow...better?