Concidentally, every game this season Blazers coach Terry Stotts has said, “Screw this. Let’s start Jusuf Nurkic. We’ve literally got no other options.”

This is why Donald Trump is our president. 

You’re right, Ronaldo has done it everywhere against everyone, including that woman that he raped in Vegas. 

Ah yes, reminds me of all those times that Luka Modric scored not one, but two free kicks in a single match.

I’m assuming Capela was hospitalized after the game for third degree burns. 

They’re 9-3 with Butler, so whatever Embiid hasn’t been doing, I suggest he  continue not doing it. 

I don’t know if he’s got brain damage, but at the very least, he appears to have a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome. 

According to sources, the dog’s owners once considered putting him up for adoption. Now, they insist, “He’s a keeper.”

It’s safe to say that if your name is Abcde, you’re F’d. 

He still ain’t won shit without Curry.  And probably never will. And no amount of “heroic” performances will redeem his legacy. And to think, he’s still only the second least likeable player on that team. 

Who Jackson? 

Considering the current political situation, I would argue that the Wizards are the perfect team to represent DC at this moment in history. 

If so, now would be a good time to don that ridiculous Superman costume he wore at the dunk contest. 

Sounds like the sports version of anything Dennis Miller says these days. 

Nice to see that someone outside of an online comments section finally had the guts to call Durant a bitch. If this ends up blowing up the Warriors, then Draymond is a hero—a word I’d never thought I’d use to describe such a dislikeable human being.

I wish KD and Green would literally strangle each other to death. The NBA would instantly be a thousand times better. 

I’m sorry, but I don’t think the Lakers should be celebrating a one point victory (at home!) over the goddamn Atlanta Hawks. 

The only thing I remember from that article is Beathard. 

The fact that so many young, exciting players have been injured in the last couple years while Carmelo Anthony continues to drag formerly good teams to the bottom of the ocean is proof that there is no God. Not one that gives a shit about sports, anyway. 

If you thought that was infuriating, try being a Blazers fan!