Chris Evans to me is still the guy from Not Another Teen Movie.

I can’t think of a single enjoyable show in the 00's outside of Curb Your Enthusiasm. LOST doesn’t count because that was just one and a half good seasons and a ton of crap after that. Sopranos is the most boring Mafia story I’ve ever come across.

Numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.....

Who cares when there’s hating to be had, right?

It’s cuz she’s gotta big dome and a prim set to her mouth.

The “How to Initiate an Intimate Encounter With A Former Coworker” instructional video?

Doesn’t count unless there’s contact...

ooooooh she looks down right NAUGHTY....

That shit actually used to happen at Olive Garden in my town. A breakout of hepatitis was traced back to all the recipients dining at the same Olive Garden the same night.

...what?

someone get this man on staff at MAD!

How much does the gig pay?

Shouldn’t you get back to saving the world with hashtags?

You’re the one defending Taco Bell and teenagers... I have no idea how a rational human being could do so and have the stones to call someone else a douchebag...

It’s quite normal to loudly proclaim that you hate heterosexual sex in a public movie theater.

“OMG Greta just lifted up her right cheek and let one rip. A really foul meaty fart, to be sure. It could be assumed that carnitas do NOT agree with her...”

Why not

I didn’t know that it was uncool now to point out facts like “Teenagers suck.”

Nah, they’ve always looked too much like a cross between Gizmo from Gremlins and a Culkin. Now, their sister on the other hand.... she can warp my mind anyday if you know what I mean....

There’s more meat in your pants than in the food!