He also can’t get laid for the life of him.

“...aaaaaand 5! Okay, antifa, I’m coming for you!” It would be even funnier if it wasn’t so sad. I gotta go join up with my local antifa chapter.

You, sir, are doing God’s work here. Nicely done!

I had a similar reaction, you just phrased it perfectly.

This is the definition of “meta,” right?

Yeah - Philly doesn’t know how to use a shovel, however. It’s a disgrace. Some Chicago neighborhoods try the “dibs” system, but its only the outlying ones.

You know, I never realized that’s where WVU is. College towns are always pretty great. Very cool!

Something tells me life is pretty quiet in Morgantown, WV. Though I remember the first time I saw my first Bentley SUV here in Chicago last summer. It was 9am, I was running 5 minutes late into the office, and one almost hit me tearing around a right turn onto Chicago Avenue. I was like “Hey, that was a Bentley SUV…

“Why are you laughing?!?”

This is the kind of thing that gets me - how can airlines POSSIBLY charge extra to sit in the exit row? In case of emergency, you want the absolutely most physically capable passengers next to the exits. I’ve always thought that a simple test of strength, like a push-up contest during the boarding process should…

So it turns out that professional sports revenue is down across the board, and it doesn’t just affect attendance at NFL games because a handful of players didn’t stand for the national anthem? Are you suggesting that conservative media is lying to us again? /s

Ha. :) I’m sure your wife is just as striking, but inherently more trustworthy than this Merc.

God, she’s beautiful, but I wouldn’t trust her for a second, and $30k is a lot of coin.

It’s glorious, and you totally Subaru-porned this piece out, but that aftermarket stereo has to go.

Well, that’s good to know. The Chi is full of aforementioned scrubs, with no idea where they’re going, and who will come to a dead stop without warning.

I feel bad for just about everyone who has taken a hit on those taxi medallions, except for Cohen.

Good for you, man. That’s called “pride,” and you’re getting it back for yourself.

There isn’t a jury in the nation that would have found you guilty for decking him right then and there.

Well, that was the best thing I’ve seen all year.

Then, of course, there’s the fact that Johnson could mop the floor with old Vin whenever he chooses to.