Bonus: Costco-brand instant mashed potatoes doubles as a layer of insulation for your car, coat, or refrigerator box!

Mock Jim Tomsula ALL you want. Dude had his contract paid off when he was fired. He made $14-million for coaching one miserable year of football. Do you know how much Costco instant mashed potatoes $14-million buys? Jim Tomsula does!

The fact that he did that after another of his children was beaten to death is enough to label him a monster in my eyes.

Most underrated part of this story has always been “Daddy Peterson”

Gah. I’m not so much in the “anyone who ever whacks their kid is a horrible monster” corner but defensive wounds on a little kids’ hands really gets to me.

A Clemson fan responded by doing a doughnut on his motorized shopping cart.

This the first vehicle that Truck Nuts would actually class up

I’m all for showing your fandom, but that’s really over the line.

Literacy, your next.

{every year that Alabama has been a state}

Well, at least this is a more socially acceptable ped accusation than some of the others Clemens has recieved.

“Amphetamines? What do frogs have to do with this?”

- Emmitt Smith

Justice never takes a Halladay, nor does it care for apostrophes.

Halladay knows all about steroids, being a medical professional and all.

“Sand doesn’t melt ice.”

And to make it worse, Donald Brashear won't leave.

I mean, without backyard rinks, how would little Gordon Bombay ever have perfected the triple deke? The Minnesota Miracle Man alone is reason enough for impromptu rinks to stick around.

“Asinine? I mean, that’s all well and good, but what about her face?”

Seems like a fitting end to his time there. The last coach to take the Giants to the Super Bowl also left as a Fassel.

That’s a good Twitter handle.

This is a great audible word for Newton to use since most of the Buccaneers players are unfamiliar with the concept of a janitor.