I’d say that with scoring being the least of Team USA’s problems, there isn’t any role for Kobe. In 2008, surrounded by other great players, he poured a ton of energy into the defensive side and was the team’s number one ballstopper. In 2012, he played the role of wise old sage. But in 2016 he’ll move about as fast as…

[Goodell sighs heavily]

Keep posting pictures like this and they won’t have to #GoBlue any longer.

Ben Affleck won’t go anywhere without a guy who looks like Matt Damon.

Dudes are going to fight, and usually no one gets hurt.

As someone who spends entirely too much time on conference calls, savvy move by Darling to mute himself pre-giggle. Nothing worse than Tina from Finance asking what is so funny after she says “we do do that task.”

I’m getting really sick of new orgin stories.

No, they traded Byfuglien years ago.

Fever Pitch 2: Lunch

Tom Brady TOTALLY saw that foreign film that was nominated for Best Picture.

“Good D, kid”

If this was a hockey game surely we’d have a video of a parent murdering the coach for “lettting that kid get ice time.”

+3/5

Jay Cutler was once booed at a Nashville Predators game, which is about a mile from Vandy’s campus.

“Shane everything ok?”

People on the internet say this often, but I actually just spit water all over my desk.

In his career, this might be the only thing Kyle Kendrick didn’t fuck up.

Everyone on the Pats has to hate Brady right? Who shows up for a work conference 3 days early?

“The best part of Baltimore? Trenton NJ.”