You’re doing A LOT of work to try and pull that much meaning out of these two episodes. Seth MacFarlane probably isn’t doing a cheeky shot-for-shot remake of the voyager opening. He *is* probably making a butt joke to make a butt joke, but without any of the three levels of meaning you found in it.

Trade him to the Nats so the transformation can be completed.

In reading about the original run of Twin Peaks, the shared story is always about over-eager television producers imploring Lynch to install a solution to a mystery he never intended to solve. The mystery— or the appeal— of Twin Peaks always lies in the implication that it never existed in a way Frost/Lynch designed.…

Senfeldas’ van! Senfeldas’ van!

Dude if you need narration to help you follow along with what’s happening during a White Sox game, no amount of announcers is going to help you.

When I go between the legs with my jack sock, I always manage to stroke a winner.

PA Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise and remove your Salute to Service caps, sponsored by Raytheon, as sergeant Clit Tidswell presents today’s Navy Federal Credit

It’s like if PFTCommenter got an English degree from some third-rate Ivy

I’ve been to two Chicagoland “work in sports” job fairs through teamworkonline that were structured this exact same way. Paid entry (along with paid subscription to teamworkonline), promises of professional league presence, and a ticket to a Wolves game.

Booooo. How can I tell?

I’ve lucked into THREE shinys in Wonder Trades between X/Y and ASOR, but I am definitely going to try this method

I cannot even fathom what the political aging curve will do to this man

Holy fuck, that beer has been a Cubs fan for longer than I have. Fuck “waiting my whole life,” a fucking can of beer has been waiting longer than me

Wrestling villain LeBron is way better than melodramatic-comic-book-movie-villain LeBron

You too can pitch the baseball like a beach-bodied hunk, using Dr. Trevor Bauer’s revolutionary Dynamo Tension Workout! You’ll shake, jerk, and flail your way to glutes of steel that ever gal will want a piece of!

This was 100% so the footage doesn’t get used on the video board

“Fuck off Janice, I’m not going to your fucking baby shower”

ben kone

The Cubs were as badly run for the past 60 years of modern sport as the Blackhawks were, but writers were at least willing to attribute it to shit ass ownership rather that That One Man Who Touched The Foul Ball.