But Lauren was the first honest-to-shit copper redhead since Lindsay. They’re all just token “first nighters” anyway.

I was rooting SO HARD for Red Velvet that I took her in the office pool. But I knew she was doomed when every blonde woman stepping from the limo elicited a hushed “...woah” or “...wow” from Ben (and his like, 45 minute chat with Olivia when she arrived)

I’m reading this story at my house, at my house

“Brady isn’t allowed to eat tomatoes, peppers, mushrooms, eggplants,”

After wearing that sweater for the whole broadcast, I guess Kannell just couldn't handle any more ribbing.

Aren’t bat-wielding Panthers typically outside of polling places when they do their menacing?

You cracked the code Zach, you cracked the dang code

Holy Cojones, more like fertility competition

Billy, that is perhaps the longest fucking sentence I’ve ever read

That's the Ronaldinho futsal move!

gah! shit! *punches desk* this sucks so bad!

holy rollerskating christ these jerseys are horrific

nooooooooooo

i’m screaming

this crap ass can go suck shit

“Were you expecting an exploding pen?”

I'm pretty sure I still have a pre-order of Starcraft: Ghost on file at GameStop.

It’s the “Assault You On The F Train On St Patty’s Day” double whammy

Matt Harvey reminds me of Mark Prior in that he’ll be out of the league in 3 years.

So excited to watch the White Sox to hand out massive contracts to Murphy and Cespedes