Good dad, my ass. Look at how badly that kid’s missing his spots.

“I won an Emmy for playing a woman dying of leukemia on L.A. Law, starring Harry Hamlin and Susan Dey.”

It’s like a brawl at a condiment station between ketchup and catsup.

I can't stop laughing at the tweet replies and I don't feel bad at all. Harambe can't laugh anymore though :(

Harambe loved Skyline Chili

Oh, man. I spent all of last week reading through these. And now it’s gone. Like Harambe.

The spectre of disaster was an incentive to watch, not a reason to avoid watching.

Mongolian Beef

Univision undoubtedly purchased Gawker Media just to keep this visionary series going and we should all be grateful to the company for doing so.

Meters? Speak American.

Well, in my day bear mothers didn’t hover over their children helping them out every time they slid over a waterfall. They taught self-reliance. No sir, when I was a cub back in 2009 if I did that kind of foolishness, the next time was trying to feed on a rotting elk carcass my mother would give me a swat on the…

“Also, per school policy, the dog has been expelled”

Wow, that’s fucked up. He made a mistake, sure, but he doesn’t deserve to have his basketballs ruined.

Loch Mess

To be fair, Lochte probably doesn’t know the difference.

Under our new Univision overlords, the thing being exclaimed ¡MUST BE BRACKETED AT THE BEGINNING!

or this, from Nick Kroll’s German foosball player on Community:

Are you saying the batter was so singularly focused on his bat flip, that he got univision?

Oye, hay REGLAS. Por favor, hijos estan viendo. No entiendo porque este caballero esta enojado.

“the referee decided to cancel the rest of the game in lieu of the pitch invasion”