Republican Candidates getting shade from Faux News is like klansmen finding out they weren’t invited to The Racist Ice Cream Social after they purchased a truckload of Vanilla Superiority

...& some men use women as stress balls

so super adventure club does exist..

Other acceptable lines:

BONUS: Would you diddle Russ Hanneman’s skittle if he were real?

Only if Trump wins.

Somebody should ask him if he thinks Order 66 benefited the galaxy since it created a ton of jobs

“Hey Trump! Make like a tree and lose the election!"

What are the odds on Tronald Dump putting on a safari outfit and taking pictures posing with a rifle at the border... panicking and shooting an armadillo because he thinks it’s a “sneaky mexican"?

Another Rubio Weakness: Experiences a strange case of Muppet-like vocal fry if he isn’t constantly sipping the bottled tears of poor immigrants.

Lump stripped alone in a smoky club...

He didn’t shave it. It wandered away since it’s an alcoholic and he quit the drink. It’s currently crawling up Taylor Kitsch’s leg.

Next up: Ritz Caucasians

He’ll shack up with Amanda Seyfried and the press will go full on diabetic

on Blake Lively it would look like Big Bird vomiting up a Barbie Doll

peens shall not touch tips upon The Sept Of Baylor.

Sasha “Almond” Bark & Rumer Carcinoma: Evasive City PD

His head looks like a balloon

Riding a rollercoaster with Marky Mark... uhg

Gosh darnit. I am.