They believe he’s going to go all Palpatine and issue Order 66 on all nonwhite Americans.

He speaks like he was bourne yesterday

Huckabee is all about deflection and distraction concerning his deepest desires. He achingly wishes that that microphone in his hand was a big black erection.

That’s the look of a woman who’ll disappear in a cloud of smoke once his dick stops spewing gold coins

Take a breath. He’s calling you square.

Severe front door issues

Josh is on a boat, dumping all his vintage porn and sex toys into Bull Shoals...

You just made it real

Neutron Kardashian

RIP TORN

I dread the release of the TWO KERMIES, ONE SUB video.

From this moment forward Yelawolf should only be referred to as Shady Antebellum.

I’d bet it all that this guy would lose his shit if he found out his wife fucked around and gave the same reasons he did when he confronted her.

Adam Devine was born to play a horny camper.

The dowry would include an entourage of jawas. Win.

How did Jay Leno transform into fifteen years into the future Mark Cuban?

That’s that shit Whitney Houston was singing about right there.

It so is. When I first read it I thought it was wrong, but I saw them giving an interview together and they are oddly perfect.

6. Your Kids Won’t Spend The Whole Time Watching TV

This was The Celestine Prophecy of nude requests.