Right? What the fuck are the Cowboys doing sharing all of this? Can you imagine Bill Belichick shitting on one of his own draft picks the day after the draft like this?

The pocket square didn’t fall far from the missing white suit.

I feel like taking off my shoes is a bridge too far.

Thoughts of Goff’s mom and sister are looking great for my big night thanks to @HotShowerMasterbation_w/Pantene #NOGirlfriend #noprospects

@durex

Today I learned that I would like to bang both Jared Goff’s mom and Jared Goff’s sister. Thanks for the info, Jared Goff!

Did I do this right?

He is still a fancy dog. Just a bad dog. A very bad dog, who doesn’t get to play with the ball.

At first glance, I thought it was Kruk.

The NFL needs to give this guy another chance, it’s not like he killed five hookers while at SMU.

“but I have spent my entire life fighting to defend the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.”

He’s probably more embarrassed to be seen with Kevin Connolly

This is great! I just skimmed it, but it reads like Hamilton Nolan’s Dad wrote it. Thanks for the link Maxine.

False.

They can drop them off as they go door-to-door evangelizing!

[and by website they mean printed newsletter delivered by pony express post]

I’ve never put my hand on ANY women … In my whole entire life, No Sir.

That’s just not how we’re raised. As you can tell, like I said again, it’s the Bible belt. It’s just something that’s, I wouldn’t even say frowned upon, just something that’s nonexistent in most southern homes.

Jozy’s most clinical finish in years.

Maybe if you carefully squish it without breaking the peel, then you can stick a straw in and drink mashed banana like it’s Capri Sun?