Hayes: “What the hell league you been playin’ in?”

The “lunge” thing is way more hilarious than the peeing aspect.

Hmmm, looks like the NFL doesn’t like Deadspin or something?

While the Devon Still thing was nice, I’m not sure it gives him a free pass from criticism for being a greedy creep in every other domain of his existence. Also, if one were a cynical person, one might ask what choice Mike Brown had when it came out that he cut a guy with an adorable daughter with cancer.

This is exactly why I long ago stopped caring one shit when players hold out. The owners are the fucking worst and players have every right to do whatever they need to.

After reviewing the list, I am confident he is a propane junky

“Prolific” does not mean what he thinks it does.

Alleged! He was never officially injured.

Yes, although I think its also the case that Larry the Cable Guy may be slightly guilty of hamming it up for effect. In fact, pretty much everything about him is like that.

Prison guard responded poorly to his attempt at doing the “palm hand touch” thing on the partition while visiting Aaron Hernandez

“Looka heyah, y’all best stop that BUUUUUUSSS!!!” (shoots six shooters in the air)

True. And Kirk’s been putting us all on notice for some time now, so this one would be all on Lane.

Is Lane affecting a Southern accent now?

Or, wait, Kirk would think that was bad, right? At least for Lane?

It would be fair to say Burfict is absolutely over the line dirty. But yes, the Steelers are fine ones to act holier than thou.

Jerry is enamored of this idea that his team is full of plucky throwback-type grinders with attitude and baggage that he doesn’t care about because he can mold them. He likes his quarterbacks’ grins to be shiteating and skin white.

This is one of the strongest Jambaroos I’ve ever read. Please promote this and don’t be humble.

Backwards caps in the Hall of Fame would result in a Kim Davis like reaction from grumpy high school baseball coaches everywhere.

Junior seemed like he was trying to be polite but really just wanted to finish taking a shit.

All I heard was him saying “nawmsayin” fifty times and all I noticed was that those are not actual real eyeglasses.