Yesss!

Yeaaahhh, a few of us queer folks in the mini-apple have used that term for years. I’m old and in the cheap seats, is it not du jour where you’re from? [edited to add: seriously y’all, I’m asking...is it not cool to say? Don’t leave me hanging!]

Yeah. They are the littluns who are gay. They’re in a gloriously nascent period of not having to be closeted or out, just...them, proudly. It’s fucking awesome.

I teach high school and I can vouch for one thing: this new batch of kids are fucking awesome about a lot of things. They can be crappy towards each other sometimes, oblivious and callous at other times, but all in all, I would have had a MUCH better high school experience with this generation of kids than the ones I…

We use the savings that we get from underfunding education and healthcare.

You’re horrible! LMAO! Staaaahppp. It was the most humiliating period of my life and I’m glad you can’t find anything. Now I feel like I’ve unleashed Woodward and Bernstein on this shit. All I’ll say is that it was a multi-level sex scandal at [redacted: I ain’t getting doxxed]. How about this: if you can find some…

I lurrrve stone collections. There’s something very earthmother/scroogemcduck in seeing a dresser top full of pretty stones. We have trade shows where I live where you can trade stone for stone or stone for cash. I’ve seen people (my neighbor) tear up when parting with a particular piece.

Antique high-top stones set in new settings?!!!! Yass, please!

Hells naw! Seriously. I was like the Monica Lewinsky of Camp LeJeune (as a whistleblower, not president blower). It was a huge deal at the time, but it was after Tailhook, so it took a backseat to that. People went to the brig for that shit and I’ve gotten paid by the VA ever since. Glad it’s lost to memory. Ah,…

Shiiit. If you don’t know, I’m sure as heck not going to dredge it up. For real. It was a mess. Every few years, I go poking around the web to see if they’ve put that stuff on there, but I can’t find a trace of it. At the time, it was a big ass Onslow county scandal. Let sleeping dogs lie.

I am fully aware of all of this. Just as I’m aware that my Louis Vuitton Alma bag is made of painted canvas. And I know that my Mercedes Benz doesn’t feel like it performs better than my old Honda CRV. But these aspirational accoutrements are part and parcel of keeping up with whatever Joneses by which we measure…

That’s my point. To buy a cut, ready to wear certified Arkansas diamond is about equivalent. Seriously. The whole “6 months in a diamond mine” was me being facetious, you understand, but I could sure as hell fly and stay in Senegal for the same amount I priced that diamond at.

I like my clear sparkler of a stone, but I prefer topaz for my ears. I love the blue stones (opals, agates, aquamarine...). They’re so pretty. Pink quartz matches my lips, so I like that for my neck. But I still hold out hope for an Arkansas diamond. Come on, imagine finding a big fat diamond for the $8 dollar…

Yassss! Werk bitch!!!!

Chile, don’t I know! I looked into it. I was like “Fuck that noise” and made other plans.

Honestly, I don’t have much objection to synthetic diamonds, except for one thing: for most of my natural life I had the notion of having an Arkansas diamond as a conversation piece. I dreamed of some southern belle sorority sisters surrounding me while I flashed my Diamond State diamond and quipped some off-the-cuff…

That’s what I did! Edwardian, filigreed up the wazoo and absolutely perfect.

You can’t, tho. But you can personally boycott, avoid, cluck your teeth or shake your head at the millions who forgave, forgot, or just don’t give a shit and love these folks (Woody, Michael, Polanski, et al.) anyway. Free country and all.

Crews probably hasn’t told us his views on Mike Tyson’s 1995 release from prison after serving 3 years for rape. I wouldn’t try to speculate.

But Jesus could!