I love the look on Nori's face: This is my mother, right? You follow me around a lot. Do you know?

All she needs to do is find a roommate who wants to rent a room for $2600 a month. Post up an ad on Craigslist touting prime Manhattan location and late-night pasta, and she should have a taker in no time.

No, Kanye, they're all great. Yep, these too. Yes, and those. Am I getting a lunch break soon?

If Harry Styles leaves 1D, then we'll truly see the internet break. Kim Kardashian's ass could only aspire to such greatness.

Of course Jessica Biel ordered the turkey melt. Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are a living turkey melt — take the blandest slab of meat on white bread and add cheese.

They all know he's still going to be alive, right? He's not leaving 1D and throwing himself into a volcano.

That's her daughter, Emma. Julie and Emma have co-authored some children books but I don't know why they would sub her picture from Julie's when the bio doesn't even mention Emma.

This is like:

So, these guys were smart enough to keep their racist/misogynistic bullshit off social media and keep it analog. However, because they couldn't resist taking credit for their chapbook o' ignorance, they all signed it and left it in a coffee shop.

So, these guys were smart enough to keep their racist/misogynistic bullshit off social media and keep it analog. However, because they couldn't resist taking credit for their chapbook o' ignorance, they all signed it and left it in a coffee shop.

So, these guys were smart enough to keep their racist/misogynistic bullshit off social media and keep it analog. However, because they couldn't resist taking credit for their chapbook o' ignorance, they all signed it and left it in a coffee shop.

I wouldn't have chosen to be so public about something that's such a personal thing.

Crotchtacean: The new lingerie line from Red Lobster.

Oh, I know. What it boils down to is that he wants to call her a whore without calling her a whore.

I hate that I know these things but thot is an acronym - that ho over there.

Somebody was binging on Friends episodes in the hospital.

Zayn is in One Direction? I had assumed from the facial hair that he was on Teen Wolf.

Too much? No such thing.

I am, of course, familiar with the importance of daytime sequins in the modern wardrobe. But, until this moment, I had failed to recognize its potential in my career development.