Stood in front of this guy back (WAY back) when I was busted for underage drinking in East Lansing.

I don’t know exactly how to classify what the reaction every man will get upon reading this headline (and then struggling to read through the story), but I just got it.

East Lansing District Court Judge Andrea Andrews Larkin - I hate that you made me look this up.... well done

Of course he is. The Honorable Judge Cock Scrote was completely slammed.

That actually sounds kinda awesome. Would watch.

Getting rid of hacks? Well I guess the NBA and my ex-wife have one thing in common folks!

It must be really hard to say “I was goddam horrified by it. I know it’s a 10 second window in an 18 yr olds life but you don’t ever put your hands on a woman. Now these are kids; kids are immature and emotional and I’ve got 4 years to grow him up but that shit will not fly here.”

Yeah, well it turns out my kids have a strong union.

Dude. Free child labor is like 95% of the reason to even have a family.

It’s funny that they blame women for not wanting to watch wall-to-wall live coverage when American men don’t really either. Just look at the tweets when a soccer or WNBA game is on ESPN and you can see that there are a lot of male “hardcore sports fans” that are not into watching live sports.

The opening ceremony will be quite the spectacle. There won’t be a dry eye in the house, as conjunctivitis increases tear production.

My enjoyment of Kobe will always be from pure schadenfreude

I think what he means is that Tim Duncan is the superior basketball player, regardless of entertainment value.

You can really hear the meat and/or heart disease in Berman’s voice these days.

Time to take him out backbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackback

Completely agree. Duncan is the only big man to rival the longevity (of being ridiculously efficient) of Kareem. Both, even in their later years, were still guys you had to game plan around even though they weren’t the #1 go-to on their own team.

MC: Welcome to the East Lansing High School Geography Bee. We’d like to welcome our guest judge, one of East Lansing’s favorite sons, Draymond Green.

I love Tim Duncan and am saddened at his retirement, so in the spirit of stirring up some shit for no reason: if you think Kobe Bryant was the best player of their generation, and not Timmy, you are a raving madman, wandering the desert shoveling peyote into his mouth, lost in the grip of his own feverish…

How did your demographics people figure out the majority of Deadspin comment makers were angry dads with law degrees. The responses verifying that statement made it pretty creepy. Are you guys spying on us through our monitors?

Last time I saw a Simmons make that many passes is when Bill met Tom Brady’s female cousin.