Well, they will be soon, they’re very ill!

Were you the guy standing behind me at the DMV today? Longest 10 minute wait of my life.

Oh, so when La Russa squeezes into a booth unannounced, he’s “defending the truth.” But when I do it, I’m “drunk” and “not welcome in this IHOP anymore.”

Yeah, why didn’t he blow out his elbow for the team, anyway?

I have kids, a lot of gray hairs, a much larger belly - but none of that makes me feel as old as what trends on the internet.

CLE Misérables.

Les Miserables

There should be a bronze statue of these two outside of the Browns’ stadium, to sum up the team’s and fans’ existence.

This completely contrary to at least a couple recent Consumer Reports tests:

Can we please get a definitive answer on this? Someone has to be the first overall pick

I also wanna know who the best beer pong player is, and challenge them

You can pitch like garbage and be a big fatass and hit your wife/girlfriend/dog, but as long as you talk to the press after the game they’ll always have your back in some way.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

I got excited and immediately looked up Jock Jams Volume 4 (the one I remember having/playing a lot).

I have to second this. If you were in junior high or high school in the 1990's you didn't just lift weights to Jock Jams, you ran, swam and played virtually every sport known to man with it on in the background. I am pretty sure we even listened to it in Spanish class.

Sure a terrible officiating team gets disbanded after one season, but we just let the Cleveland Browns keep on being a thing.

I hope we get Bartolo Colon v. Kevin Nash in a Hell in a Cell for the naming rights to “Big Sexy”

Isn't it supposed to be against the rules to kick out your legs anyways? It's rarely called, but it is illegal.

and unscramble those arousing images of pulsating, convulsing, and sweaty hard bodies on the upper channels that so many guys covet. (I personally don’t care for MMA programming.)

Anytime there’s even a tenuous connection for it to be appropriate to watch this, I’m happy.