They’re the St. Louis Cardinals of football.

“That’s one that is just going to haunt him a little bit,” manager Mike Matheny said. “Just shows you how fragile this is. The one at-bat he’s got to think about again is the two-out walk to the pitcher. He knows that. Just really cost us right there.”

I wouldn’t even be able to get open to get the inbound pass so at least you’ve got that going for you.

What a dick.

The original professional baseball team in St. Louis was the Brown Stockings. Although they were successful, their players were named in numerous game fixing scandals.

Apples? I thought they were bearies.

About 15% of men.

How much would you charge a professional athlete for your clean blood and/or urine?

I did this too but you were probably first.

We could probably narrow this down pretty easily. In my opinion it’s most likely someone who was already dinged once and didn’t want to get suspended, and someone who was really highly compensated and was able to afford this to make it go away.

The people of Las Vegas are like:

Oh now I understand why pirates wear eye patches.

The confusion started when one of the officers tried to inform Devin he grabbed the wrong girl by yelling, “Not your dame!”

Like a sleeper hold or like hands on your throat Sprewell style? I’m not sure it matters because either one is totally illegal but I’m selfish and want to be able to picture it better in my head. You seriously need to email or Dropbox this to one of the writers. This would be a huge story.

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” - Mel Brooks

Yeah we definitely need more details on this story like others said.

I am constantly amazed at the lack of professionalism many “professional” people display. The front offices of sports teams in particular seem to be a breeding ground for this type of “professional”.

The best of American Ninja Warrior:

Puke stories in a Drew article two days in a row! What a time to be alive!

So far this seems like John Lee all over again.