The Aristocrats!

Joke/pun. Not a hot take.

This guy gives the children of Detroit foul balls. Their city government gives them foul water.

Because this guy knows what he’s talking about:

Should we really consider being suspended from the Cleveland Browns a *bad* thing?

If he hadn’t had such a whale of a preseason it would be a different story.

I don’t understand what the big deal is. All he has to do is say, “Ay!” and stomp his foot a couple times and it will go back to normal.

The cameras did not get a shot of it, but some fans claim Captain Ahab was escorted out of the stadium by security after attempting to harpoon Sandoval during his at-bat.

Interesting that the video cuts off right before the orb gets to his junk. I’m not saying Justin Spieth has been impregnated by an alien or some type of spiritual djinn-type being, but I’m also not not saying it.

Hayes did not sue Ceravolo directly. Poor wording or maybe I’m just interpreting the sentence structure incorrectly.

These kids fuckin’ suck.

The Good Lord had naught to do with this. It was Lucifer himself attempting to enter this world through this woman.

We have the same type of work chair. Sorry about your back Tom.

If you’re only shaving your neck, save yourself some serious cash and get these next time:

Wait, you’re not supposed to inhale cigar smoke?

Is “gaze upon these dunks” a euphemism?

Finally, someone with some artistic talent doing the header images.

“I got to second base with two chicks at the same time.” - Me, just now, thinking how funny this would be to comment about the picture.

Anna, what would you have done with the plastic rat if you found yourself in this situation?