Looks like it’s just using a modified Brooklands body kit:

1. That thing is hideous.

If you’re gonna make stuff up, why not have fun with it? Tell me it was driven into battle by the Warrior Princess of Canada in the Maple Syrup Wars or something. Really go for it, you know?

I think the comedian Stewart Lee said it best: “Russell Brand sounds like a child molester trying to convince himself to let himself molest himself.”

The better “stuffing” is that which doesn’t fit inside the bird and is baked alongside the turkey, in a casserole dish. Flavorful and dotted with crispy bits.

At least Taylor Swift is real. 

McCartney wrong songs that appealed to kids of his time in The Beatles, and are still being worshipped to this day for the songwriting creativity.

People are going to be mad if I point out the misogyny surrounding the Taylor Swift backlash, but you all get so mad at her fans for being...mildly annoying I guess. It’s pretty tough to look at it through any other lens than “woman bad. woman’s fans bad.”

You don’t think the Beatles ever rose to the level of Taylor Swift???? I think you need to get rid of the recency bias and take a look at whatever footage you can find of Beatlemania (I mean it was literally called “Beatlemania,” which makes “Swiftie” tame by comparison). People were losing their goddamn minds. And…

This continuing obsession with Swift is really disturbing to me. Not her specifically, she seems to be a genuinely good person. But the tendency of people to lose their damn minds over someone, no matter how good or evil, is a frightening trait. It just makes it so clear that we as a species are way too susceptible to…

My friend, I would like you to do a quick mental exercise. I would like you to close your eyes and picture the average American. Then I want you to think about the fact that this means half the country is dumber than that.

There are advantages. Spatchcock is a fun word you get to throw around the office for a few weeks. Once you’ve done it, the bird actually cooks fully in just a couple of hours, and the smoke flavor is always a plus, unless you’re some kind of communist I guess. Best part is all the cooking happens on a grill and the…

Spoken like someone who has never spatchcocked and smoked their bird before 

It’s always those you most suspect.

I love stuffing. And I love turkey. I’ve never thought either one was improved by being cooked with the stuffing inside of the turkey.

Is ANYONE shocked by this at all. This will probably get him another invite from Bill Mahr. 

We had to spend a whole year, a year!, a year., telling alleged adults that washing your hands is a thing they should do.

Utz also makes great pretzel rods. They’re just baked a tad longer than others and get a bit darker and more burnier.