“The design is 100% practical and the fact that it looks exactly like a butt plug is unrelated to that practical design.”

No, the fact that it looks exactly like a butt plug is because a butt plug is also a 100% practical design.

Gotta be careful though, don’t want to have to go see this guy...

“ truly—there is something so appealing about a hunky star athlete very publicly expressing interest in and courting possibly the most famous woman in the world, with none of the timidity and shyness of her exes.”

You are the one being weird... you “ship” two full grown adults, you read all this info. You write about it for your professional job.

Not sure if serious. If you aren’t, I don’t get the joke.

“...have thoroughly convinced me that it’s time for us to leave these people alone”

Doesn’t matter, you can’t hit someone with your car because you’re pissed at them

What do you mean starting to? This inane obsession with some singer’s love life is fucking strange right from the jump.

Do Japanese adult diapers come pre-pixelated like that? Or do they automatically pixelate when someone goes boom-boom in them? (C’mon, you knew there had to be some kinda bomb reference in there...)

$69?

Why?  Get a life other than theirs.

Since it wasn’t actually included, this is what a pear-shaped boiling flask looks like.

Similar, but not exactly identical

Even if it’s not the intended purpose, the point is moot because anything can be a butt-plug if you’re brave enough.

They both seem to be behaving exceedingly normally for two adults in a relationship. It’s BORING. Man leaves house of his girlfriend. Woman leaves house of her boyfriend. SHOCKING. Man and woman in relationship both attend party, periodically checking on each other. SCANDAL.

In insurance for 30+ years. In the US it would be covered under comprehensive. If it was a defect in the car the carrier would pay to fix the car and subrogate against Tesla.

I don’t want to be put on a “No Fly” list with Copa Airlines,

Is this the crappiest story on the internet today?

1. Do not get wet.

This is the same company that keeps the controls for windshield wipers on a touchscreen and designed the car such that water pours into the trunk if you open it whilst it’s raining: they’re made for Californian weather, not Scottish weather.

“rain storm” = “effectively submerged”. That seems like that excuse could be used for any water damage, regardless of reason: “Water went into the battery regardless of reason” = “effectively submerged”.