A threesome with Pierce Brosnan and Bronson Pinchot is funnier.

“I look forward to moving on from ‘Stranger Things’ and into the career that the name “Millie Bobby Brown” rightfully suggests: funk musician.”

Hey, spanfeller: you should start print these articles out on shitty, thin glossy magazine paper and stocking it at the checkouts of low-rent supermarkets.

He probably ducks when a 2x4 hits the floor in Home Depot.

former resident. I earned it.

I’ve had a gun shoved right up against my head while my mom was robbed. I own guns, I also have children, they are never in the same building. My kids matter more than my insecurity.

fingers crossed!

It’s extremely hard to stop smoking crack. That’s the whole point of crack. 

Ah yes, because all those thieves are getting caught in the act.

Is shooting a thief stealing your stuff worth more than you spending time in jail?

Oh, it’s clear Jada and her Whipped Spouse care very much what people think. Why else write books, run to friendly interviews or podcasts and finally pen fawning, open letters stroking each other’s egos?

I feel like you’d have to get every state to do this to make it work. Like, Illinois can have the toughest gun laws in the country but if right across the border is Indiana, where gun laws are “wut we don’t care”, it doesn’t matter. Or like polution, where Wisconsin can try and be tough on people dumping in lake…

I’m sorry, but this (which seems to be the thesis of this article) is utter bullshit for two reasons.

Killing people over a few hundred bucks is stupid and barbaric actually

You are an actual psychopath or you are doing a bit.

Statistically you’re more likely to eat your own gun than protect your car from a crackhead. Good luck with the odds!

Awww, ain’t that cute.

Stop writing about this shit, Jesus Fucking Christ.

Even the most powerful microscope in the world would not be able to find the violin tiny enough to express my utter apathy towards these people.

“Every word they say about each other is made into its own headline, pulled apart and dissected until it becomes incomprehensible, like staring at a painting too long until it becomes a blur of colors instead of a picture.”