I’m sorry you’re too fucking stupid to understand obvious sarcasm. 

He did it all for the crookie.

Two big reasons 

TL, DR:

They could be Subway!

We don’t even need the last 5 words of your post!

So no, there’s not even a grain of truth. Nice job negating your “fun” premise. 

Pretty generous with the j word there.

Compared to other cocoa powder, Dutch-process cocoa powder has lower acidity, which means higher pH. Lower pH = more acidic, just as stated in the Serious Eats post linked above.

Best case scenario? Both suffer (additional) head trauma serious enough that neither appears in public again. 

Yes, but he’s a pitcher, not a catcher…

Eat me!

+1

“good kinja”

I’m not sure “journalist” is applicable here. 

That sounds like ice cream as punishment. 

Time to take up making ice cream as your new hobby.

Raisins lack even one single redeeming value.

Because of the motherfucking raisins, of course.