Time to take up making ice cream as your new hobby.

Raisins lack even one single redeeming value.

Because of the motherfucking raisins, of course.

How many of those orange “cheese” chumps knew about bleu cheese in the first place?

Might as well give that pig in the greys the finger, too  

The pig really is the most delicious animal. 

Correct. Neither are sandwiches.

Homeopathic quantities couldn’t hurt, right?

Some people only learn through experience.

Just like all the other Disney horseshit posts. 

Since no one here writes recipes, something from JKLA should hit the spot:

said no one, ever

Commenting like it’s his job. 

I’d sooner lick a dirty ashtray than eat Chipotle.

Pair it with a cigarette, you’ll be unstoppable!

Thank you!

Turd in the punch bowl (shit for brains, at the very best)

I think we’re supposed to invoke Biden’s name somehow as a way to make fun of any & all Brandons.

Meat should only be fluffed on a porn shoot, not at the worst sandwich store. 

People going to Subway aren’t invested in that, regardless of how much fluffing their meat will experience.