That sounds like the sort of thing a treasonous, election-losing rapist would enjoy. 

Absolutely! Kale is a garbage vegetable.

But this guy seems like he actually knows how to sell something other than bullshit.

He’s a snob about fast food, yet simultaneously weirdly interested in and overly familiar with much of it. 

I wonder, though, whether cutting the bagel crosswise as shown in the lead photo would allow a proper bagel to function in sandwich mode, such that you take a bite without squishing the contents out of the bagel?

I roll my own before I go to Taco Bell.

Rum ham > ham nog 

Dave Attell refs always get a star.

+1

Thank you for this.

This bit he offered was laughable, as well:

Don’t take it from me. Argue with JKLA about the waste of time that is flavored, wet brining.

Such absurd hyperbole!

Wet brining is a pain in the ass. Salt that thing two days in advance & call it good. Have a side of pickles and enjoy the time you didn’t waste fucking around with a damp bird & gallons of salmonella brine.

Misusing a knife is dangerous!

Kinda weird that you’d go to work for them less than a year later.

Surprisingly, America’s Test Kitchen has Tostitos ranked as its top tortilla chip. That’s absolutely insane, if you ask me.

Who’s got two thumbs & hates shrimp?

Thanks for taking care of that.

There’s some trash in the greys that you might want to take out, Dennis.