And some of them are incredibly childish, too!

Wait, I thought this was a story about England, not Australia!

“Add both ingredients, with their accompanying brines”

Cinnamon (no sugar) + a slice of orange beats the hell out of salt + lime with a shot of tequila. 

Missed opportunity to briefly change your display name to PendantEditorType!

Even if it were for a slideshow of their most pathetic posts, I wouldn’t be interested in providing the content.

I’m happy to take your word on that. 

Stop trying to bang freegans!

Probably a buck-eighty if she still eats like that. 

That’s the real pro move.

You’re welcome to compile your own list.

Don’t eat any kind of sandwich while driving.

This is nonsensical, pointless and near incoherent.

Floridiots

Pearls?! Oops.

There have been some extraordinary contenders for that title over the last year or so, but this one is definitely in the top 5.

Don’t kink shame!

What’s the limit on varnish before it becomes inedible?

I’m generally a fan of Tim’s, but these are straight up fucking garbage. Salty & crunchy? Yes. But there’s no real heat, let alone anything resembling the *flavor* of jalapeño. MSG shouldn’t be a primary note. 

That’s no longer a thing here in Herb Spanfeller’s Gizmodoverse.