What a great deal! The fucking unicorns are worth at least $10K, and they produce a dozen eggs monthly. Plant those eggs, and you’ll have a dozen more unicorns in 5 years. Guaranteed! The only downside is that a Unimog is their preferred boudoir, so you’ll never be able to drive it. Still seems like a win.

Best Altoids ever, IMO

If we’re really lucky, he’ll choke to death on one.

Then maybe you’d prefer the “functional beverage” soda with prebiotics. That one’s only $34.99 per 12 pack!

I’d imagine it’s because Inside Edition is a purveyor of garbage.

Silver? Ha! Possibly aluminum, but far more likely pot metal.

Don’t waste your time, no one at J/O Media gives even the tiniest of fucks. 

This has everything to do with Douglas making a dumb mistake

70 years of eating White Castle sliders, and not only are you still here, but commenting on the Takeout?

To what are you objecting, the sodium content?

So just add an extra slice, ffs.

toss in two tablespoons of drained caper berries

I’d be unhappy if I had to give up tomatoes, to put it mildly.

Just prepared for a good Saturday night, from the sound of it!

The dismiss function is the one good Kinja function left! 

Should have been the cops in the car, instead.

The dimmer you are, the “better-qualified” you are.

one, loan Bimmer

More Rob Halford, less Ronnie James Dio.

I was surprised by our omission, too.