even the authors that have been here a while and used to be good seem to be suffering a decline in quality

Baristas can be clumsy, just like anyone else - it would be terrible, just terrible, if one stumbled while walking through the shop & spilled a great big cup of something all over a cheap motherfucker daylong camper’s devices.

Backing it all up is a Toyota 3L 2.8-liter diesel four-cylinder powering all four wheels

So, no bread from Wednesday or Sunday?

Just morons. “men” implies having reached some sort of maturity.

Finally, my chance to ask this.

Everyone involved in crapping out that terrible portmanteau should be kicked in the  throat. 

Same here. My mother has a tiny serrated knife that was always referred to as “the grapefruit knife”. No serrated spoon required once you’ve sectioned the thing. 

That is absolutely not default Safeway cashier practice - you must have a reliably good Safeway. I can think of maybe 2-3 occasions in the last 10+ years that a cashier has bothered to open an egg carton to give ‘em a quick look. I don’t really care, because I’ve already checked.

Perhaps you’d enjoy a pointless slideshow, instead?

Why a viola, and not a violin?

I hate the sight of him, but I’d love to choke him out with that tie while staring into his face & laughing the whole time. 

A daily Big Mac woud kill me just from sheer tedium far sooner than any of its possible dietary detriments. Aside from a cup of coffee, there’s absolutely nothing I want to consume every single fucking day.

I see you’ve never spent any time around trailer parks or El Camino/Camaro drivers in the US. (The Venn diagram of those groups are largely, but not entirely, overlapping.)

If you had “mushy & flavorless” lox, you had shitty lox. 

Anyone willing to take out a loan in order to acquire a pet needs to be forcibly sterilized.

If you’re feeling flush, use halibut. It’s killer.

That mandoline suggestion was followed by an explicit reference to heeding recommended safety protocols, and a functional adult shouldn’t need more instruction than that.

I’m sure there’s a sizeable audience for video of her eating a hot dog.

There’s ballot- tampering afoot! (Or at least, the options have swapped colors)